Filed under: AWESOME, Friends, love | Tags: Emily, Friendship, Krissy, Living, love, Melad, Michael, Poetry, Travis, Trevor, Wesley
I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart
I am never without it
anywhere I go you go, my dear
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling
I fear no fate for you are my fate, my sweet
I want no world for beautiful you are my world, my true
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart .
– E.E. Cummings
This is the most amazing poem ever written. I dedicate this is all the people I love, all the people that are carried in my heart, all the people that matter. Without you, my tree would die. Actually, I don’t think that it would be there in the first place. You are the reason I get up and breathe everyday. I love you.
Krissy <3
Wesley <3
Travis <3
Michael <3
Melad <3
Emily <3
Trevor <3
Filed under: AWESOME, Friends, Insight, love | Tags: cloud nine, fool, Michael, phonecalls, secrets, Trevor, wes
I have been faced with a dilema. I called Michael a day or two ago and made a complete fool of myself. First off I called at eleven o’clock at night, then said whatever popped into my head which made me sound like a creep. I don’t know. We talked for like ten minutes then he told me to call him tomorrow. I did, no answer … few hours later, called, no answer. I was super mad at the time, but now I’m not really caring. I feel like I am on cloud nine. I feel like this because of an amazing phone call. An amazing phone call from an amazing guy.
Trevor.
I was on the phone with Trevor for two and a half hours last night and they were amazing. I haven’t had a comversation like that in a long time. I love that about our friendship. We can talk about everything, not that I can’t with my other friends, it’s just different with him. It’s like he is so giving even in a conversation. He is one of those rare guys that will talk about his feelings and help you with yours. The only down fall of him talking about his feelings with me is that most of them revolve around is ex, Rhio. I don’t mind much though and that kind of surprised me … Normally if I like a guy, I get really jealous when he talks about another girl let alone one that he loves. When it’s him though, I don’t really mind. I like it kinda. It makes him seem more like a real person instead of the superhero persona that I have created in my mind.
Speaking of Superheros … he told me something kinda weird last night. He said that it is basically his biggest secret EVER. Only like 5 people including me know. I’m not going to repeat it because this IS the internet of course, but I don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t know if I should believe him. I don’t know if I should think that he is crazy. I want to believe him though. I don’t think that he would lie to me about something like this. He has NO reason whatsoever to lie to me and he never has before. He has always been really real with me. I think that I do believe him, but I feel like there is some tiny part of me that doesn’t.
He is an amazing guy regardless. He talked to my brother on the phone last night too, something about cars. I don’t know, but I got no talking to after so I think that Bruce kinda might like him. Which would be amazing considering … Bruce doesn’t like anyone that I do. All I feel is =] =] =] =] because I just got off the phone with him. He told me to call later if I wanted. I don’t want to seem so eager, but I LOVE talking to him.
Today is Tuesssday and I’m not going to the movies with my Little Miss Wes. I miss her <3
Filed under: Friends, Insight, love | Tags: cheating, Drew, experience, interest, love, older, one night stand, sex, Trevor
Why is it that when people come back into my life they have to do it all at once? Now that Drew is back, guess who came back? Trevor. Yup. The camp counselor I hooked up with after camp. That’s the one. I think that I have brought this one upon myself though. I sent him a message on Facebook just joking thinking that he wouldn’t answer because he never does. All I said was “I’m starting to think that I was a one night stand … Hmmmm.” That was ALL that I said. I sent that message on June 26th and now, yesterday, on June 8th he messages me back. I couldn’t believe that he actually answered me. I was kinda shocked. He said that he was sorry and that I wasn’t a one night stand. He then went on to explain how his parents kicked him out so he was living with Rhio (his gf) and then she went all crazy and broke up with him. Of course if they are broken up they can no longer live together like a happy little couple. She kicked him out … You had to have seen that coming … Now he is back at home with his folks and the computer.
I don’t know how to feel about this situation. If I really am looking for someone who won’t do what Drew did. It doesn’t seen like Trevor is the best canidate. He is more or less the same package plus a car and experience. I know that he has cheated before because it was with me. He cheated on Rhio with me. He has done the whole not talking for months thing. The other thing is that he is older. He is about to be 20. He is more in tune with who he is. I love that about him. He is really confident. I have talked about this before with Wesley and it is a proven fact that I like the overly confident-cocky guys, but all of them have an insecure side that I see when I get to know them. Trevor is no different. I don’t know man.
I think about it and it’s a complicated situation.
Pros
- He is really really Nice.
- I already know that he likes me ;]
- He is super cute.
- He has a car.
- My mother already knows him.
- He knows what he is doing when it comes to “romance”
- He isn’t afraid to love
- We have that connection.
- He has awesome taste is music. Lol (minus that he hates Simple Plan)
Cons
- He is almost twenty.
- He has cheated before, who knows how many times.
- My mom thinks he is too old for me.
- He lives in Flint.
- He is unemployed … I think.
- My mother thinks he is a nice guy.
- My brother might not be so hot on the idea of him.
- He doesn’t like Simple Plan.
- He has A LOT of experience.
Now do you see the problem? I have exactly as many Pros as I have Cons. I feel like I am getting a little ahead of myself here. Lets see if it goes anymore with either Drew or Trevor …
