Filed under: AWESOME, Concerts, Friends, Insight, love, music | Tags: Amazing, AWESOME, Drew, feelings, guys, happy, life, music
Well, last night was pretty awesome. Party Like Summer had an amazing set (even though I’m a little biased). I was in the front, although it’s not like there were all that many people there to stop me fro being up front. I was a chicken in the beginning and Bradlee walked past me about a billion times, but I was scared so I didn’t say anything. Then after his set I went outside and he was there so we hung out for a little bit and talked. He is a really cool guy and I’m glad that I met him or even texted him in the first place. Thanks Christofer Drew <3 I got tons of hugs and a kiss on the cheek and he told me to call him, which I will.
The only thing that stresses me out about with him is that it’s hard to have actual conversation with him sometimes. I’m not used to having to wait forever for someone to text me back and I don’t mean to be impatient, but it bothers me when he’s like “Im a busy beee” when I know for a fact that he is sitting in a van doing nothing..Lol. Oh well, I don’t need to stress. He is simply a friend.
On an even better note, today was awesome too. I hung out at the house until like one and then went to Drew’s house. We walked around Berkley while he tried to find a job. No luck though. It was nice hanging out with him though. Favorite moment all day : We were sitting on the couch watching tv, my head is on his shoulder, he moves his head down and kisses me. Then after one I turned my head because I thought it was only one and he turns to me and says “I wasn’t done.” and kisses me again. It still makes me smile. It’s just nice to know that the boy I love likes kissing me :]]]
This weekend was amazing.
Oh, I don’t know if I posted, but Groves’ production of Guys and Dolls was AMAZING! I WISH that SL could have shows like that. The Fall Play is this weekend and I hope for the love of Jesus, that it goes well. BREAK A LEG!
Filed under: AWESOME, Alcohol, Concerts, Friends, Insight, music | Tags: Alcohol, AWESOME, Bradlee, feelings, Friends, music, random, songs, Travis
Tonight is supposed to be the night. Tonight is the night I am going to Lansing to see Bradlee. I texted him this morning though and now I am more confused than ever. Nevermind. He just texted me back…. He makes me feel smile and gives me butterflies. I feel like this is some kind of dream though because I mean, what music loving girl doesn’t wanna get with the lead singer of a band? I’m pretty sure every girl does. It’s hot. He told me to come find him before the show, well as soon as I get there. I am so excited to see him in action. He is such a sweetheart and the music is amazing too. I am listening to the song “All We Know” right now it makes my stomach turn, but in a good way. I hope that even if things don’t work out like they do in my head, they still work out well. The whole night is seeming to fall together. I am leaving around like 4 and the show starts at 5:30. Then after the show, well what happens happens and I am crashing at Sarah’s for the night. My mom thinks that Sarah is coming with me. I am a little worried to go alone, but I mean, it’s a bar in Lansing with undiscovered bands playing, what could happen. The only thing I am stressing is that he has only seen me in pictures and when he sees me in person he won’t like what he sees. I am a fat slob in person and I have learned how to angle pics to make me look super good. I don’t know. I need to calm down and not stress out. Thats not what I need right now.
Oh, I’m also a little worried about how Tuesday is going to go. It will be when I go back to school and see Travis. I got a little drunk on Friday and texted him some kinda forward things. I mean, with him, I always wanna give him another shot because he is so important to me and my everyday life. I just don’t want to freak him out like I have a habit of doing with guys… A LOT.
Whatever. I don’t wanna talk about that anymore. I already kind of regret saying that stuff to him. When I think about it I kind of sound like a whore, which I know I’m not, I just have a lot of whore tendencies. It’s just when I see Travis, I think about how he hasn’t done ANYTHING more than holding hands and a simple kiss on the lips and how I know he wants to do more so bad, but doesn’t feel comfortable with a girl enough to do anything. I mean if anyone, he should be comfortable with me right? He trusts me and I am like his best friend. I don’t know. I just don’t want someone to take advantage of him or for him to have a bad first experience with some horrible girl. I want him to have it with me. Honestly, that sounds horrible. It sounds like I am some Dazed and Confused actor trying to deflower the young girls. “Thats one thing I love about high school girls. I keep getting older and they stay the same age.” 
DDD Tsk Tsk Janelle :p
Filed under: AWESOME, Family, Friends, Insight, love, music, religion, school | Tags: Changing, Christopher, confusion, Emily, Friends, Krissy, life, love, music, Relationships, religion, Travis, Wesley
Well, I haven’t blogged in awhile so I guess I’ll do an update because that the only way for me to get in everything to all those people that DON’T read this… Hehe. I wonder why I keep writing. I only know like three people that read this. Oh well.
Friends: Everything with them is GREAT! I don’t see Wes or Emily too much anymore, but we talk and hang when we can. Now that I think about it, I don’t think Wes, Emily, and I have all hung out together since school let out. Well, that’s something to add to the list of summer stuff. I haven’t talked to Melad in awhile and I think I might text her soon. I have been talking to and hung out with Amanda again. It was good to see her, it’s been some time. Side Note: Clayton got suppperrr hot. He is going to teach me to play the guitar as a trade off and I am going to help him with Algebra.
I hang out with Kris, Gabs, Sarah, Lorenzo and the whole gang whenever I can. Couple days ago we played kick the can and smoked Hookah on the roof of a strip mall. It was pretty amazing. Went to the mall with Krissy and Sarah yesterday. It’s random stuff, but still fun because it’s people I love being around. Ummm… Ron is back from California. He left because he didn’t feel he belonged in Michigan anymore. He was gone for about a month. Then he made his way back.It’s nice having him around again. He has a new job at Valvoline and it’s funnnnyyy.
I have been making some new friends too. I hang out and talk to the people from youth group quite a bit. It’s nice having OTHER friends to talk to sometimes. Just adding to the collection. Jordan is one of the people that I LOVE hanging out with. He is my age, going to be a senior at Groves. He swims and is super involved at school. He is just a chill guy he makes me feel good when I am around him. Another person I talk to and hang with is Stucky. He is a nice guy, going to be sophmore at Groves and to be honest, he is a giant pot head. I deal with it though. I don’t smoke with him so it’s whatever. Karly is the closest girl to me. She is like soo sweet. She is a cheerleader at Lasher and is going to be Senior. I love her :]]
School: IT’S SUMMER BABY!!! NO SCHOOL. ( I still have hella summer homework though :[ )
Work: I honestly LOVE my job. It's not that hard and I love coming to a place where I get along with the people. It's nice to have a payday too :] I get paid above minimum wage, I get paid in cash and I only work about two days a week. We have two cooks, they are both really nice people, but honestly I HAVE to say that working with Tony H is wayyy more fun. He is a sweetheart and kinda cute too ;] Lol. He is just such a nice guy that I’d rather work with him over Little Tony anyday… My boss is Gabby’s dad and he is soooo intense. He is like loud and will speak his mind no matter what. He did me a HUGE favor by giving me a job and I will love him forever :] He kinda a hard ass though. I don’t mind though, I respect him for it.
Boys: I’ve been a little rocky on this path. There have been so many issues and I don’t know where I left off.
Travis - I’ve only talked to him once since school let out. A 17 minute phone call. I miss him a lot I am not going to lie.
Christopher – I am done with that asshole. He broke my heart for the second time and didn’t give a shit. He said he was in love with me and then he didn’t want to be with me. I still loves me as a friend and wants in my pants. I don’t think so. Go find some whore in Arizona to mess with, I’m better than that.
Anthony – I’m not really quite sure what is up with me and him. He texts to see if I wanna hang and stuff, but it doesn’t seem like he really wants to. I don’t know. It’s just too shady for my taste.
Jordan – I really like him but I know I can’t do anything about those feelings due to the fact that he still has a gf and I’ve gone down that road before. It’s not a good one, no one wins, everyone gets hurt. For now he is just a friend and that’s all he is going to be until he is single and interested in me. The part that is so hard is like we have soo much in common and he is so easy to open up and talk to. He makes me feel like such an amazing girl, especially when he tells me so :] Which he has… I don’t know. I want to hang with him more than I do and it’s gonna be boss when we go to State together :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
God – I have been blessed and now I can see how much HE has done for me. He is reason I am alive and living this amazing life. I know that sometimes I can lead myself into temptation and do things that I shouldn’t, but in the end, God is going to forgive me because he knows I am truely sorry. I used to be so scared that God would walk out on me because I do so much wrong and have given up on him before, but now I know that he never will. He will never give up on me. He sent me on Mission Trip to become enlighted and help people know his love like I do. Little did I know that Mission would have such an impact on me. It brought me so much closer to him and I am grateful beyond words for that. All I can do is pray that my relationship continues to grow and I don’t stray again.
Filed under: AWESOME, Concerts, music | Tags: Amazing, AWESOME, love, Marilyn Manson, music, songs
Marilyn Manson’s new album is titled “The high end of low” and it comes out in May 2009. I am sooooooooooo excited. Oh and he is headlining Mayhemfest and is coming to Michigan on August 2, 2009. I want to go REALLY bad, but lawn tickets are $66… I will see what I can swing man. I hope I can go.
I LOVE MARILYN MANSON!!!!!!!!!!
Filed under: music | Tags: Assholes, Girlfriend, Marilyn Manson, music, People
“Marilyn Manson attended a party in Miami at the Hotel Gansevoort with model Isani Griffith. You think she would date him if he were working in Blockbuster for $6 an hour and dressing the same way? Amazing what money can get you these days. Luckily she probably has some serious daddy issues.”
I am blown away that someone could say this about someone else!!!!!!!!!! I hate when people who don’t even know ANYTHING about Marilyn Manson think they can just get away with saying things like this. Assholes, that’s all they are. Assholes. All I have to say is that he is amazing and she is lucky he is even giving her the time of day. Anyone would be extremely lucky to be with him. People suck.
Filed under: AWESOME, Insight, love, music | Tags: happy, Jason Mraz, love, music, Relationships, Smile, Travis
Music has always played a role in my life. It is how I feel and when everything is crumbling it will always comfort me. It’s my rock.
Well, according to my music listenings as of lately, I am really happy :] I am listening to a lot of Jason Mraz which is really upbeat music. It is also really lovey. I really like this new finding <3 I have also realized that the music that is sinking into my mind and soul is so happy is because of that one kid, what is his name again? Oh yeah, Travis. He is simply amazing and even though we aren’t together, he is mine.
Also, because I go on Facebook so much, I tend to get stuck on bumper stickers a lot. Hehe. Doesn’t everyone though? I send Travis a lot of bumper stickers, but they are adorable. One said “Lets flip a coin. Head and I’m yours…Tails and you’re mine <3″ I can’t stop smiling and I hope I don’t anytime soon
[I get to see Krissy and Sarah soon]… X-mas is in 12 days <3
Filed under: Friends, Insight, music | Tags: Confidence, Fears, feelings, Friends, love, Mattering, Michael, music, People, Something new, Special, Travis, Walking, World
I am sitting here in a hoodie and wool hat because I would rather be freezing than turn on the heat. Doesn’t that make soo much sense. I am not even doing anything. I should be doing my AP Chem lab, but for some reason I can never manage to get into them unless I HAVE to. I kinda wish that Michael was here to help me. He really is really smart.
I was walking down the hall with Travis today and we linked arms. It made me think if that is how I should be feeling all the time. Am I supposed to be that happy all the time? He really does make me happy and it is getting to the point to the point were I’m not sure I could get by without him. I have also come to realize that like everyone thinks that we are together and it doesn’t really bother me. I said something today that really surprised. I was talking to him and I said, “Apparently you are with me, you are one lucky guy because any guy that is with me is one lucky guy.” I said that I was amazing and I think I belived myself. I feel like I am slowly coming up from rock bottom. I can look in the mirror in the morning and smile.
I’m not sure if this is because of Travis or maybe something else…
I also seems that Michael is acting kinda different towards me. He is being strangely nice to me and I don’t know how to take it. He helps me when I ask him, he isn’t really making fun of me, he walks with me in the hallway, he doesn’t seem ashamed of being seen with me. I really like it. I just wonder why it starts NOW after we fight and I have to try to get over him. He came to opening night too :] It made me really happy. He is a great guy and I am glad I have him in my life, but he is such a cause of stress. He is someone that I want in my life so bad that I feel like I have to worry about it all the time for some reason. I don’t know… I just really want him to like me. He also talks about Melad a lot… I know he doesn’t like her, but it’s like… What? Apparently there is some “person” who is talking to him and telling him that she still likes him. I told him that she didn’t. He won’t tell me who either.
I have been listening to a lot of music lately too. I have been exploring and expanding. The way it should be. Speaking of music, there is this song that reminds me of Travis. It’s Naked by Avril and it really is how he makes me feel. I sent him the lyrics in a facebook message… he didn’t have a reply. I really thought that he would like them and maybe even go awww and feel special. I am so scared that I am going to scare him off though. I can’t help it that I am the type of person who comes on strong ALL THE TIME, even in friendships. If I feel like you are someone who is impacting my life for the better, I am going to let you know. I just feel like people need to know that they matter… Maybe it’s because I need to know that I matter.
That’s all I really want though. I just want to matter in this world. I want to die knowing that someone other than family will love me. Someone will care because I mattered to that person. Someone will miss me because I was an amazing person. I have so many people like that, that I just want to be something to someone like they are to me. I am so scared that no one will remember me, that no one will even notice that I am gone.
I mean, we all have fears. Mine my be stupid, but it is a fear none the less.
Filed under: AWESOME, Friends, love | Tags: Coney Island, Fall play, Food, Friends, Jams, Krissy, love, Meijer, music, Night of January 16th, Ron
Last night was amazing. I didn’t really do all that well in the play though. I flubbed a line and I kinda welll…. flashed the crowd a little vag. I got so into character that I wasn’t paying attention to how I was sitting and I had on a skirt. I think that it is because I sit like a dude, not a chick. I when I was yelling at the end of my scene, I turned a you could see all up my skirt. Not cool. I know someone reading this would be like, “How could this be an amazing night? It sounds horrible.”
Besides that though, I got to see my bestestestest friend in the whole world yesterday. KRISSY <3. She came from Ann Arbor so that she could watch the play and see me :] She said that the play was good, but because she had already read the actual play, she was a little bummed. You see, Mr. Finn, the director cut a lot of the play because without the cuts, the play was really long. He cut out some good parts man :[ … Like the rap part. Oh well.
So… after the show me and Kris walked around Birmingham and looked for a place to eat. Like NOWHERE was open so we ended up going to a 24 hour coney Island. It was amazing and I loved getting to spend time with her again. I LOVE KRISSY!!!!! Then we went to Meijer and jammed out in the car. I miss her, it was good for things to feel like old times again.. kinda.
Well, I have to get ready for the bridal shower now. Peace out. I’m going to break a leg tonight.
Filed under: AWESOME, Insight, love, music | Tags: Artists, friend, Lyrics, Meaning, music, songs, Struggle
I am sitting at my computer thinking. I do this all the time. It’s the only reason I have so many posts… For some reason I am thinking about music and how its pretty much the center of my world. I have always had an attraction to music, my whole life. I sing. I listen to music like crazy. Sometimes I TRY to write… I feel like I can relate to so much music whether it be the beat and energy of it or the meaning of the lyrics. Music is all about passion and I think that is what I love about it. Someone look time out of their lives to create something, hoping that it would change someone’s life or somehow help or touch them. That is what a lot of songs do for me.
The other thing that dawned on me was that lyrics are something that I hold dear to my heart. When I want to express something and can’t find the right way, I play a song to someone … or tell them the lyrics. They are how I express how I feel a lot of the time. When I am down, I listen to songs that have the same somber feeling and expression that I have at the time. Sometimes I get the feeling that these lyrics and these feelings somehow make me close to the artist that wrote them. It takes emotion and experience to write a song. “You write what you know.” You write what you know … My thought process is, “They know how I feel.” I would never wish for someone to suffer, but the people that have write the best music man. Eminem. Marilyn Manson. The ones that fight to make it are the ones that are worth listening to. The ones that have feeling behind their music are the ones that people love.
Music really is an amazing friend to everyone… I love Music and I wish that I had the talent to pursue it.
(most of the time my titles are lyrics or song titles to an amazing song that has somehow touched me. If you are reading this you should look up this music.)
((I finally got to see my Wesley again!!! <3 <3))
Filed under: AWESOME, Concerts, Friends, music | Tags: music, Concerts, Warped Tour, Pierce the Viel, Detroit, Automatic Loveletter, Juliet Simms, Fans, Posters, Autographs
WARPED TOUR WAS AMAZZZING!!!!
We met the lead singer of Peirce the Viel and Everyone from Automatic Loveletter.
We got autographs from everyone is Automatic Loveletter as well.
We saw Mayday Parade, The Pink Spiders, Say Anything, Madina Lake, Peirce the Veil, Automatic Loveletter, Anberlin, and Cobra Starship. 2008 Warped Tour was an amazing time. Spending a whole day with Krissy and Gabby was the cherry on top. I was crazy tired from the long day, no sleep, sunburn, no food, but wicked pumped!!!!!
Thank Gloss ( I don’t want to say God since I don’t believe in “him”) for pink headphones, Wendy’s, free posters, creepy but cute older guys, cameras, crazy obsession with a bands, amazing music, wet dirt, granola bars, mosh pits, security guards, and best friends =]
