Solution.

Right now, I am struggling to find the words to say out loud. I was on the phone with Raya and she talked me down, I stopped crying. I don’t know what I did wrong and she won’t tell me. She is mad at me and I don’t know what I did wrong. How can I fix something when I don’t know whats broken.

Last night, she told me that she didn’t want to live with me next year and honestly, it stung. I was upset, but not enough that it lasted longer than ten minutes. Last night I was in a funk. I went and saw the play Bare for the second time. It was easier to see the second time around, but still hard. I still cried. The panel talk afterwards was about Homosexuality and Religion. Common knowledge would tell someone that I would want to stay for that. I am both a proud Christian and a bisexual woman, a lot of people don’t think that they mix well, but I would say that they are wrong. My love is beyond the reach of my reproductive organs. My love is beyond the ignorance of so many people, but my God understands me. He understands me because he gave me the feelings that I have.

The last 24 hours have been so emotionally draining that I can’t wait for church tomorrow where I can raise my arms in worship to the one thing in my life that is simple. My Father will always love me and never leave me. That is the only thing in life that I can be certain of anymore.

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