Travis is adorable.
He is teaching me to play chess and speak spanish.
Sooner or later SOMEONE will teach me to read music…
I hate Mrs. Valentine more than words can describe right now. I have made it almost three years without having so much as a detention and now this bitchass ugly woman comes along and rights me up?!?!?!? I am now supsended for the next three days. Some kids would be happy because it’s like a long weekend, but I am soooo not happy about this at all. I am in two AP classes and the tests are in like two weeks. I am not prepared for my AP Chemistry test at all and now, I can’t be in class for three days. It is so fucking stupid.
Oh, and you know what I am supsended for? Using my phone in class. Me, out of all people, she chooses me to suspend for using my phone. People don’t even try and hide it in her class and they don’t get in trouble, but ME… I get written up. I am sooooo mad. I am trying to act calm though. I am a more or less calm person in general and I would like to maintain that persona.
Part of me wants to cry and part of me wants to like physically attack Mrs. Valentine. You can believe that I am going to give her sooo much attitude in class today though. YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! She is such a bitch. Why is it that from year to year, my math classes get worse and worse?!?!?!? Even Mrs. Pickard never wrote me up. This is so fucking stupid. I wish I didn’t go to this stupid ass school.
I think she hates me for some odd reason. I kinda wanna say that it’s because I’m white. I HATE HER!!! She needs to shave…..
Filed under: Uncategorized
The one thing that almost everyone on this earth is looking for is acceptance. This is basically true.. At school, work, life, church, everywhere. No one wants to feel uncomfortable when they go somewhere. The thing that I find amazing is that the one place that is always supposed to be there with open arms, is the place that is the hardest to get into the crowd. When I say this, I mean church. Recently, I have been going to a new church and I actually REALLY like it. I feel like it’s a place that I am welcome and I feel like it’s a good place for me to explore my faith.
It just seems like some of the people there are far more willing to accept me than other. There is one that fought with her best friend over me going there. I don’t know what to do, I want to go there, but I don’t want to cause more problems for others.
Filed under: Uncategorized
(this is an essay that I wrote for a scholarship.)
Everyday the world becomes more complicated and everyday there are people striving to bring unity to it. I am one of those people. I am a person that feels like this world has so much potential to become something more amazing than anyone ever imagined. I also want to be a part of that. I want have a hand in creating a world where everyone is equal and feels no shame. I want to spend my future taking small steps to help as many people as I can. I want to take the hope I have in this world, and myself, and make something beautiful.
The future and what is to come is something that scares me more than life in itself. I don’t want to become a failure. I don’t want to become ashamed of what I have my life. Without hope, these things are bound to happen, but with my drive and determination, I know that I can make something. I can make something productive of my life. I can make a life and a world that I am proud of. I feel like the hope I have inside of me is like that small light that manages to fill a whole room.
I truely do believe that with hope all things are possible. I have to believe. It has given me my everything and without it, I wouldn’t have made it through my life. Now, because of my hope, I know I am going to make a difference and fufill my dreams, and help others with their own journeys.
Filed under: Friends, Insight, random | Tags: expected, Friends, life, love, spring break
Things are going decent.
One day left in Spring Break. I feel like I kinda wasted it a little.
I miss friends.
I’ve been thinking about live lately and how I’m not sure if I am living it MY standards or what I THINK other people’s standards are. I am taking AP classes, is it because I want to or because it’s what smart kids are supposed to do? I like guys, is it because I’m actually looking for love or is it because I think that what is expected of me? I don’t even know if waking up in the morning is my own decision or if it’s something that I know is expected of me. I feel like I’m living a life that I’ve been brainwashed to think what I really want. I know that can’t be it though… I make choices all the time that people don’t agree with. I do things that no one approves off a lot, but then that leads me to think that I am doing the OPPOSITE of what is expected simply because I don’t want to do the expected. This means that I’m still not acting on what I WANT, but rather to avoid the expected…
God, I don’t even know if that made sense. I don’t know anything anymore.
Tomorrow is Easter, I have to clean the bathroom.
Today is April Fools Day… My fun surprise was nature gift :] Fun Fun Fun. Hopefully this isn’t an example of how the rest of april is going to be….
Today is the first tennis game of the season. I wish that I was playing in first doubles… like I should be, but it’s fine I guess for now. I am playing at second with J.Lowe because Julene is really sick of something and can’t leave the house for like a couple days. Is it bad that I am secretly glad that she is sick? I know it’s bad, but I feel like it is a sign that I should be playing higher ranked than I am right now. Yesterday Jasmine and I played Andrea and Emily. We played two sets… First set we won 6-0, second set we lost 3-6. I think this shows that we are pretty damn boss together if I must say so 
AHHH! I can’t wait for this weekend. I want it to be friday now! I want it to be spring break now!
