I have been thinking a lot about my friends and how all the relationships I have with them are soo different. So, I figured that since it has been on my mind I would write a blog about my thoughts on the subject at hand. Each of my friends mean so much to me and they deserve to be in my blog.
Krissy: This girl is amazing. I do anything with her. She is like my other half. I can’t think of the last time I went one day without talking to her atleast once. I know sometimes we get on each others nerves, but in the end we always end up laughing. I feel like I don’t tell her how much she means to me enough. Hopefully she will know when she reads this. =] I don’t know what I would do without her. She is the one that I come to with most of my problems and most of the time she listens to me whine. Whenever we are bored we hang. I love how we can sit there and do nothing for hours and have the best time. She is one of the biggest parts of my life and I don’t know how I will function when she goes off to college next year. Hopefully she won’t get sick of me visiting her at State. Besides, who else do I have to party with?
Steven: This boy is one of the greatest people I have met in a long ass time. He always listens to me when I have to bitch about something and you know what? He doesn’t complain about having to me at all. It’s nice and he has no idea has happy he makes me feel. He has walked me through some tough times. I know that we didn’t start off on the right foot, but he has really grown to be one of my good friends. I almost consider him one of my best friends. He is amazing and it bums me out that he can’t see it. I hate that he lets people treat him like he isn’t awesome. Sometimes he just needs to chill out and let people see the real him. He is the only guy that I know that believes in a fairytale love. It’s so amazing that he thinks the way that he does and his dreams are so beautiful. I truely do love him. I hope that he is someone that will stay in my life for a long long time.
Wesley: This girl is like my twin. She is the one that understands all the retarded shit that I do. She is crazy man!!! and I love it. I am so glad that I met her this year. Thank god for art club =]. I am actually on the phone with her RIGHT NOW. I love her with all my soul! She is the silly person that I just want to talk to all the time. Folks, she is also just like apple pie. Sweet, All-American, and innocent. When you see her you just want to scoop her up, put her on a plate, and eat her with a bowl of ice cream. TIME WARP!!!!! (it’s an inside joke, you wouldn’t get it (except Krissy)) I love how she is so random. It’s like we were made for each other. I am going to enjoy high school so much now that I now that she will be at my side. I love this girl.
I love my friends so much and I don’t know what I would do without them. I have more friends, these are just the ones that mean the most at the moment.
I have been worrying a lot lately. Most of it is because of tennis. Everyone keeps telling me that I have nothing to worry about, that I am on the team. I don’t feel like I am though. I know I am, but I don’t. I don’t even know if that makes sense. I am good, but for some reason I am not as confident as I used to be. I think that it is because when I play I tend to with the girls that are much better than me (ie: Krissy, Taliba, Lame-a-Beans, Jennifer) These are all girls that are good enough to be singles. I am decent and hopefully next year I will be able to take Krissy’s spot on the team and play singles. Right now I am going to be doubles. Some of the other girls and myself have figued at least half of the team.
First Singles: Chechi
Second Singles: Taliba
Third Singles: Lame-a-Beans
Fourth Singles: Krissy
First Singles: Brit and Jennifer
Second Singles: Erica and myself???
Coach has said that she wants to pair me with this girl Jasmine. I don’t want to defy coach, but I would rather be paired with Erica. On a skill level we are more equal. I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I am really good for a beginning. I have played before, but never on a team. I have messed around with Krissy and Gabby on the courts, but I have never played a hard-core game. Unless you count middle school gym, which I don’t. I practice my ball control a lot and I really like tennis. I try so hard and I want to be so good. I am always telling myself that I can do it and that I am good.
I tried out for singles today and I know that I didn’t make it. I am okay with that though. I only even did because I figured that I had nothing to loose. If I didn’t make singles then atleast coach saw me play more and I got more practice. I did okay. We played sets of 3. First match I played Taliba and of course I lost. 2-0 (15-game and 30-game) I am proud of myself for getting ANY points on Taliba though. She is really good and has been playing for a really long time. I played a second match against Jamsine and I beat her like Taliba beat me. I am kinda sad that coach thinks that we are equal. I haven’t been playing long, but I am glad that Krissy got me into Tennis. I love it! Besides, it one more thing that I can do with her before she leaves for college. The fun thing is that I can do it next year and senior year too. Tennis is a big stress release for me. It’s good. It’s helping with my anger and depression.
Goal: Singles next year.
Filed under: Insight
Dear Abby,
What do you do when you have so many friends that need your help? I feel like I am stretching myself thin. I have so many friends that ask me about everything , but I never deal with my own shit. I said to myself that I was going to stop putting other people before myself. I love it though. I love hepling people. It makes me feel complete and like I have some sort of purpose. What do I do?
-Confused yet Fufilled.
Dear Confused,
I think that you should continue to help yourself AND your friends. There is no reason that you can’t make everyone happy. In the future you should pick and choose your battles though. Don’t take every problem that comes your way. Streching yourself thin is going to get you nowhere. You should also worry less. You will get wrinkles. You can’t take on the world all alone. Maybe next time you should HELP your friends by making them deal with it themselves. How is telling them exactly what they should do at every step of their life going to help them? As for not worrying about yourself. You should. You should deal with the things that you need to so that you are not ignoring yourself. You need to understand that you are the only person who will always be there for you. You need to make your mental help number one. Besides, you already sound half crazy.
I don’t give myself the best advice, but I guess somewhere down the road it may help me.
I came home yesterday from tennis practice. Innocent as a lamb. I come home and who is here? My brother and his best friend Chris. What were they doing? Playing beer pong. Duh. I should have known. I ended up playing with them and I got so fucking toasted. I was walking around and I don’t even know how many times I fell dude. I made like 4 boxes of Mac and Cheese too. Bruce and Chris have this weird thing about Macaroni and Cheese with Cheese Puffs. It looks so fucking gross. They wanted me to try it and I wouldn’t because I think that I would have fucking thrown up. I played like 6 games of beer pongs and I am pretty good.
Scores:
Bruce and Janelle vs. Chris
JANELLE WIN
Bruce and Janelle vs. Chris
JANELLE WIN
Chris and Janelle vs. Bruce
JANELLE WIN
Chris and Janelle vs. Bruce
BRUCE WIN
I was so drunk by the end of the 4th game that I don’t remember you was winning after that I have no idea who won. It was fun though. I have never drank with my brother before or any of his friends. I kept calling guys. I was texting people too. I texted Steven and told him that I loved him. I didn’t mean it in the LOVE LOVE way, but he was freaking because he knew that I was drunk and COULD have meant it the other way. I don’t love him in that way though. I do love him, but it’s because he has been there for me lately. He has been my rock and when I felt like shit he has been there. I have really grown close to him in the late couple months. I am going to miss him a lot next year. He promised that he won’t ignore me though so it’s all good.
I have realized something. I tend to call people when I get drunk. People I called when I was drunk:
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Drew
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Michael
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Mike
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Bookert
I didn’t call Steven, but I texted him.
I need to have my phone taken from me when I drink. Actually, I am really proud that I didn’t throw up from the beer. I wanted to though. I went into the bathroom and TRIED to throw up, but it didn’t work. Lmao. I call people that I have had feelings for all of these people at one time. ALL of them I liked at one time. God, I think that I am glad that no one picked up.
Filed under: AWESOME, Concerts, love | Tags: Bands, Concerts, Exciting, love, Simple Plan
Dude, I am sooo crazy happy right now. I just got home from a Simple Plan concert. I love them. I went with Gabby and it was nice because we never do anything just the two of us. Usually Kris is there or it is Kris and Gabby. It was nice. I love her. She didn’t even know their music that well, but she went anyway. We got there when the doors were opening so I didn’t really have to stand in line for that long. Went we went in I was sooo excited, even more than before. It was at St. Andrew’s Hall so we tried to get as close as we could to the front. It was pretty damn nice. Some bitch came and pushed me so that she could stand in front of me. Then her friend came and crawled on the floor and I wanted to step on her, but didn’t. I am too nice to do that, but it was rather stupid of her. The opening act was really good. They are called The Graduate. I was pumped when they came on so I was jumping and looking like an idiot. I didn’t know any of their songs, but they were truely good. Some of the guys knew the songs and were like huge fans so they were singing along. It was kinda cute. Then when they were off everyone started pushing to the front and somehow I ended up really close to the stage.
We met some nice people. I don’t remember their names, but they seemed like cool people.
I will finish this later.
In the end I met Simple Plan and I couldn’t breathe. I was SOOO EXCITED!!!!!!
