Filed under: AWESOME, Family, Friends, Insight, love, music, religion, school
Well, I haven’t blogged in awhile so I guess I’ll do an update because that the only way for me to get in everything to all those people that DON’T read this… Hehe. I wonder why I keep writing. I only know like three people that read this. Oh well.
Friends: Everything with them is GREAT! I don’t see Wes or Emily too much anymore, but we talk and hang when we can. Now that I think about it, I don’t think Wes, Emily, and I have all hung out together since school let out. Well, that’s something to add to the list of summer stuff. I haven’t talked to Melad in awhile and I think I might text her soon. I have been talking to and hung out with Amanda again. It was good to see her, it’s been some time. Side Note: Clayton got suppperrr hot. He is going to teach me to play the guitar as a trade off and I am going to help him with Algebra.
I hang out with Kris, Gabs, Sarah, Lorenzo and the whole gang whenever I can. Couple days ago we played kick the can and smoked Hookah on the roof of a strip mall. It was pretty amazing. Went to the mall with Krissy and Sarah yesterday. It’s random stuff, but still fun because it’s people I love being around. Ummm… Ron is back from California. He left because he didn’t feel he belonged in Michigan anymore. He was gone for about a month. Then he made his way back.It’s nice having him around again. He has a new job at Valvoline and it’s funnnnyyy.
I have been making some new friends too. I hang out and talk to the people from youth group quite a bit. It’s nice having OTHER friends to talk to sometimes. Just adding to the collection. Jordan is one of the people that I LOVE hanging out with. He is my age, going to be a senior at Groves. He swims and is super involved at school. He is just a chill guy he makes me feel good when I am around him. Another person I talk to and hang with is Stucky. He is a nice guy, going to be sophmore at Groves and to be honest, he is a giant pot head. I deal with it though. I don’t smoke with him so it’s whatever. Karly is the closest girl to me. She is like soo sweet. She is a cheerleader at Lasher and is going to be Senior. I love her :]]
School: IT’S SUMMER BABY!!! NO SCHOOL. ( I still have hella summer homework though :[ )
Work: I honestly LOVE my job. It's not that hard and I love coming to a place where I get along with the people. It's nice to have a payday too :] I get paid above minimum wage, I get paid in cash and I only work about two days a week. We have two cooks, they are both really nice people, but honestly I HAVE to say that working with Tony H is wayyy more fun. He is a sweetheart and kinda cute too ;] Lol. He is just such a nice guy that I’d rather work with him over Little Tony anyday… My boss is Gabby’s dad and he is soooo intense. He is like loud and will speak his mind no matter what. He did me a HUGE favor by giving me a job and I will love him forever :] He kinda a hard ass though. I don’t mind though, I respect him for it.
Boys: I’ve been a little rocky on this path. There have been so many issues and I don’t know where I left off.
Travis - I’ve only talked to him once since school let out. A 17 minute phone call. I miss him a lot I am not going to lie.
Christopher – I am done with that asshole. He broke my heart for the second time and didn’t give a shit. He said he was in love with me and then he didn’t want to be with me. I still loves me as a friend and wants in my pants. I don’t think so. Go find some whore in Arizona to mess with, I’m better than that.
Anthony – I’m not really quite sure what is up with me and him. He texts to see if I wanna hang and stuff, but it doesn’t seem like he really wants to. I don’t know. It’s just too shady for my taste.
Jordan – I really like him but I know I can’t do anything about those feelings due to the fact that he still has a gf and I’ve gone down that road before. It’s not a good one, no one wins, everyone gets hurt. For now he is just a friend and that’s all he is going to be until he is single and interested in me. The part that is so hard is like we have soo much in common and he is so easy to open up and talk to. He makes me feel like such an amazing girl, especially when he tells me so :] Which he has… I don’t know. I want to hang with him more than I do and it’s gonna be boss when we go to State together :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
God – I have been blessed and now I can see how much HE has done for me. He is reason I am alive and living this amazing life. I know that sometimes I can lead myself into temptation and do things that I shouldn’t, but in the end, God is going to forgive me because he knows I am truely sorry. I used to be so scared that God would walk out on me because I do so much wrong and have given up on him before, but now I know that he never will. He will never give up on me. He sent me on Mission Trip to become enlighted and help people know his love like I do. Little did I know that Mission would have such an impact on me. It brought me so much closer to him and I am grateful beyond words for that. All I can do is pray that my relationship continues to grow and I don’t stray again.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I have noticed that I have not written in awhile.
The screen is being really weird so I can’t write a lot… I can’t see what I am typing right now…
Filed under: AWESOME, Concerts, Family, Friends, Insight, random, religion, school | Tags: Boys, Changing, Friends, Krissy, life, love, random, school, Travis, Wesley
Well, it has been almost a week since my blowup/meltdown on wordpress. I think that I dealt with the suspension just fine, but I also know it’s something that I don’t want to deal with EVER again. One time is enough, Thank you :]
Hmmm… Let’s see whats been going on with me. It’s been awhile since I did a post that it just like an update forum.
Boys: Well, Travis is pretty amazing :] His birthday is on Thursday and I think I am more excited about it than he is. I don’t know why, I just really like birthdays. PLUS, I happen to know that he is really going to LOVE his present <3 I can’t wait to see the look on his face! Other than Travis, the only other boy that is relationship material whatnotstuff is Anthony Jackson. He is such an asshole to me though… He sent me really weird texts this weekend. The thing that is the weirdest is that he was forwarding texts that I had sent him… and there were also some that OTHER people were sending him. Mainly his girlfriend Amber who HATES me, as much as she denies it, I know she does. I don’t know about him anymore though. He says that he likes me, but then won’t hang out with me when I invite him somewhere or takes hours to respond to a text. It just seems like he is a whole lot of drama that isn’t going to get much better if we were to actually date. Plus, I feel it would make it akward for Wesley if he dumped Amber for me. (Amber is on the dance team with Wes and they have already had their own drama.)
School: The school year is coming to an end and I am sooo pumped. I cannot wait to be a senior in high school and have that one foot out the door. Soon enough I will be in college!!!! AHHH!!! I have my two AP tests next week so this week pretty much, is going to suck. Some time this week I have to go to Carol’s house and help her. I have two games. I have to study. I am going to a concert on Friday. OAA Leagues is on Saturday. Mother’s Day is Sunday… this just sucks in general. BUT, after the stress of the AP Exams is gone, I only have four classes to worry about instead of six. I really hope that I do well on the AP Chem test. I want to prove to myself that I can do this. I think that this year really showed me how time SHOULD be spent, instead of how I actually DO spend it. I feel like I am going to fail the AP Chem test, but I know it is going to be my fault too.
Friends: Friends is pretty much the only front that has NO flaws. I love my friends and I couldn’t ask for better ones. Krissy is home for the summer and done with her freshman year in college :] Wes is on the dance team, likes a nice guy, and is going to do AMAZING on her APUSH test on friday :] (GOOD LUCK!!) Everything is pretty much going almost perfect with friends <3
God: I am doing really well and I feel like I am finding something to believe in that just.. feels right. I know that I have had my struggles, but everyone has right? I just know I can make it through. It’s something that I need to deal with IN me and it’s nice to know that I have so many people that care too. My friend Micah has really been trying to help me. He prays for me and he wants me to go to his church with him. I mean, I know that I like it at Northbrook A LOT, but it would be okay to go to someone else’s church ONCE right? Other than that, church is going amazing and I feel like I am finally starting to fit in there. At senior highs on Sunday, it was just me, David, Dani, and William. It was cool that I didn’t have Emily as that buffer and I was fine. I like that I am becoming one in my own there rather than someone that comes with Emily every week :]
Travis is adorable.
He is teaching me to play chess and speak spanish.
Sooner or later SOMEONE will teach me to read music…
I hate Mrs. Valentine more than words can describe right now. I have made it almost three years without having so much as a detention and now this bitchass ugly woman comes along and rights me up?!?!?!? I am now supsended for the next three days. Some kids would be happy because it’s like a long weekend, but I am soooo not happy about this at all. I am in two AP classes and the tests are in like two weeks. I am not prepared for my AP Chemistry test at all and now, I can’t be in class for three days. It is so fucking stupid.
Oh, and you know what I am supsended for? Using my phone in class. Me, out of all people, she chooses me to suspend for using my phone. People don’t even try and hide it in her class and they don’t get in trouble, but ME… I get written up. I am sooooo mad. I am trying to act calm though. I am a more or less calm person in general and I would like to maintain that persona.
Part of me wants to cry and part of me wants to like physically attack Mrs. Valentine. You can believe that I am going to give her sooo much attitude in class today though. YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! She is such a bitch. Why is it that from year to year, my math classes get worse and worse?!?!?!? Even Mrs. Pickard never wrote me up. This is so fucking stupid. I wish I didn’t go to this stupid ass school.
I think she hates me for some odd reason. I kinda wanna say that it’s because I’m white. I HATE HER!!! She needs to shave…..
Filed under: Uncategorized
The one thing that almost everyone on this earth is looking for is acceptance. This is basically true.. At school, work, life, church, everywhere. No one wants to feel uncomfortable when they go somewhere. The thing that I find amazing is that the one place that is always supposed to be there with open arms, is the place that is the hardest to get into the crowd. When I say this, I mean church. Recently, I have been going to a new church and I actually REALLY like it. I feel like it’s a place that I am welcome and I feel like it’s a good place for me to explore my faith.
It just seems like some of the people there are far more willing to accept me than other. There is one that fought with her best friend over me going there. I don’t know what to do, I want to go there, but I don’t want to cause more problems for others.
Filed under: Uncategorized
(this is an essay that I wrote for a scholarship.)
Everyday the world becomes more complicated and everyday there are people striving to bring unity to it. I am one of those people. I am a person that feels like this world has so much potential to become something more amazing than anyone ever imagined. I also want to be a part of that. I want have a hand in creating a world where everyone is equal and feels no shame. I want to spend my future taking small steps to help as many people as I can. I want to take the hope I have in this world, and myself, and make something beautiful.
The future and what is to come is something that scares me more than life in itself. I don’t want to become a failure. I don’t want to become ashamed of what I have my life. Without hope, these things are bound to happen, but with my drive and determination, I know that I can make something. I can make something productive of my life. I can make a life and a world that I am proud of. I feel like the hope I have inside of me is like that small light that manages to fill a whole room.
I truely do believe that with hope all things are possible. I have to believe. It has given me my everything and without it, I wouldn’t have made it through my life. Now, because of my hope, I know I am going to make a difference and fufill my dreams, and help others with their own journeys.
Filed under: Friends, Insight, random | Tags: expected, Friends, life, love, spring break
Things are going decent.
One day left in Spring Break. I feel like I kinda wasted it a little.
I miss friends.
I’ve been thinking about live lately and how I’m not sure if I am living it MY standards or what I THINK other people’s standards are. I am taking AP classes, is it because I want to or because it’s what smart kids are supposed to do? I like guys, is it because I’m actually looking for love or is it because I think that what is expected of me? I don’t even know if waking up in the morning is my own decision or if it’s something that I know is expected of me. I feel like I’m living a life that I’ve been brainwashed to think what I really want. I know that can’t be it though… I make choices all the time that people don’t agree with. I do things that no one approves off a lot, but then that leads me to think that I am doing the OPPOSITE of what is expected simply because I don’t want to do the expected. This means that I’m still not acting on what I WANT, but rather to avoid the expected…
God, I don’t even know if that made sense. I don’t know anything anymore.
Tomorrow is Easter, I have to clean the bathroom.
Today is April Fools Day… My fun surprise was nature gift :] Fun Fun Fun. Hopefully this isn’t an example of how the rest of april is going to be….
Today is the first tennis game of the season. I wish that I was playing in first doubles… like I should be, but it’s fine I guess for now. I am playing at second with J.Lowe because Julene is really sick of something and can’t leave the house for like a couple days. Is it bad that I am secretly glad that she is sick? I know it’s bad, but I feel like it is a sign that I should be playing higher ranked than I am right now. Yesterday Jasmine and I played Andrea and Emily. We played two sets… First set we won 6-0, second set we lost 3-6. I think this shows that we are pretty damn boss together if I must say so 
AHHH! I can’t wait for this weekend. I want it to be friday now! I want it to be spring break now!
Filed under: AWESOME, Concerts, Friends, love, music, religion, school | Tags: AWESOME, Emily, Family, Food, Friends, Krissy, life, religion, school
This weekend was pretty damn amazing :] With the exception of having my phone stolen on Friday… I just checked at security too and no one turned it in. The people there kind of laughed at me when I said I thought someone would turn it in. Now I have to get a new phone… Oh well though… shit happens and I can’t change it now so why linger?
NOW TO SATURDAY! On saturday morning, I went to Golf and Tennis with Kathy and got my racquet re-strung. It looks soooo boss man. I have bright neon yellow strings now It goes great with the blue face and orange grip. I love that I can spot my racquet from like seven miles away… atleast I know no one could steal it now and then use it infront of me. While we were waiting, we went to Subway. This is when my mother became embarrassing, which she normally isn’t, and basically told Kathy our life story. Maybe not EVERYTHING, but she got close. Lets just say that Kathy now knows A LOT more than she did before….
After we dropped Kathy off my mom did some quick errands and we went home. I got ready and left like an hour and a half or so later…. I drove to Emily’s house and then to Northbrook for SoulFire. IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN!!!! I never thought that God and Jesus and anything at church could be so enjoyable. There were games and music and cards and all that good stuff. Then we had a music packed worship led by Seven Glory and Bob. Bob is the youth director there…. he’s a cool guy. After the worship, Seven Glory had a concert and Em and I were jamming out. We didn’t even notice when Abby and Sara were gone. They weren’t as into it as Em and I were.
After the concert, Em asked if I wanted to spend the night at her house. Her mom said yes. My mom said yes. I went home after got some clothes and drove back to Em’s. I was really shocked that my mother let me take the car and KEEP it like all night/morning. I had a really good time at Emily’s house. We slept on the pullout couch and spent like a billion hours talking. We were up until four in the morning talking actually. Then we had to get up at like 8:30am for church.
I really did enjoy church though. At Northbrook they seem to make things fun, and… different… in a way I can understand it. I told my mom that I want to become a member there and both her and Emily said that I should take some more time and make SURE that it is the church for me before I make such a big commitment. It’s understandable, but I mean, I’ve been there before and I REALLY like it there. I don’t know.. I guess it doesn’t hurt to take some more time and be absolutely POSITIVE. After church, Mrs. S got us all bagels, but I had to leave right after I ate.
When I got home we had to leave again to meet Diane and Carol for Brunch. I had a lot of fun with them, I always do. They really are like my favorite family members. We went to Bob Evans and the omelette was SOOOOOOOOOO good. I wanted more. That too and the home fries were crazy good.
We went to Aunt Pat’s after and I slept. We went home. Mom and Bruce got into this really big fight when we got home. Mom was all like GET OUT and Bruce was all like FUCK YOU and it was just screaming and yelling and craziness. I locked myself in the bathroom until they were done. Then I went to sleep, got up, ate, watched tv, went back to sleep. I was a sleepy girl :]
OHHH. I got a new nose stud on Friday too :] It’s a peace sign and I am in LOVE with it.
I get to get a new phone though :] Hopefully a samsung Gravtiy like I want.
I can’t wait until Friday!!! I get to see Krissy!! I am going to Ann Arbor for Relay for Life so I’m spending most of the weekend there. I CAN’T WAIT!
NEXT WEEK IS SPRING BREAK! YAY! (Too bad all I’m going to do is play tennis because we have two-a-days Monday thru Thursday.)
